You both give and receive love in ways the other recognizes. Keep noticing the small things that already work.
RLOEI→SLUAN
A signal you both recognize
What they want: Words of affirmation. It is already part of how you naturally show up.
SLUAN→RLOEI
A signal you both recognize
What you want: Physical touch. It is already part of how they naturally show up.
One move today
Today, RLOEI expresses care through Words of affirmation, and SLUAN through Physical touch.
Love notes for both types
RLOEIThe Restless Dreamer
What they need
You need a partner who can take your creativity and spontaneity as they come. Someone who does not judge your emotional swings as “unstable” but understands them as part of you. You are happiest with a partner who is curious about your ideas and gets excited with you, or who at minimum does not look at them as odd.
What to mind in the relationship
You need to practice experiencing “completion” inside a relationship too. Finding a different kind of satisfaction not in making something new every day, but in tending deeply to the relationship that already exists. When you learn that routine with your partner is a signal of safety rather than boredom, the relationship goes considerably deeper. Remember that the small successes of keeping your promises are the foundation of trust.
What triggers the guard
It is triggered when your creative expression or ideas are criticized, or when you hear that they are “not realistic”. Also, when a promise or a schedule collapses and your partner voices disappointment, your feelings surge along with an internal “failed again”. The largest trigger is the sense that your instability has become a burden on the relationship.
What brings them back
You wait in your own space for the feeling to settle by itself. Making something, or chasing a new idea, often becomes the channel of recovery. If the other person offers acknowledgement or praise first, you recover fast, and that warmth reopens the door to connection.
SLUANThe Magnetic Disruptor
What they need
You need a partner who respects your energy and your direction. A partner who sees you as someone “to be corrected”, or expects you to become milder or more considerate, burns the relationship out fast. What lasts is a relationship with someone who is not afraid of your intensity and in fact finds it interesting, someone with a fairly independent and strong self of their own.
What to mind in the relationship
Your partner needs to know that your intensity is interest, not attack. A hard tone means precisely that you take this relationship seriously. Even so there is something for you to work on: confirming that you can say the same thing with your voice lowered, that the meaning still lands with the intensity taken out.
What triggers the guard
Your guard rises when you feel controlled and when your judgment is treated lightly. In particular “calm down a bit” does not settle the feeling at all; it makes you weigh the entire relationship again.
What brings them back
You recover when they do not retreat and stay where they are. That stance of “even so, I'm here” works far more powerfully than an apology. Once recovered, you are usually the one who throws out the first joke to bring the air back.
