The 9 Core Desires That Drive You — The Real Motives Deeper Than Personality

Why do people react so differently to the very same situation? One person scrambles for fear of not being recognized, another tenses up at the thought of losing control, and yet another grows anxious at the thought of being left alone. Beneath the personality you show on the surface lies a deeper motive that moves you.

Deeper than personality: desire

Traits like "I'm outgoing" or "I'm a planner" describe the patterns of your behavior. But they don't tell you why you act that way. That answer lives in your desires.

Even among "planners," one might make plans because they feel anxious when things aren't perfect, while another makes plans because they're afraid of being dismissed for failing. The behavior is the same, but the desire at the root is entirely different.

The nine core desires through the Enneagram

A person's core motives can be sorted into the nine grains the Enneagram describes. Read through them and notice which one tugs at you most.

• The grain that wants to live rightly — Sensitive to right and wrong, and harder on yourself than on anyone else.
• The grain that wants to be loved and needed — The person whose catchphrase becomes "I'm fine." So busy caring for others that you forget what you wanted yourself.
• The grain that wants to be recognized and to achieve — You try to prove yourself through results, and you grow anxious when you stop.
• The grain that wants to be special and true — You can't stand the ordinary, and you're drawn to deep emotion.
• The grain that wants to know and understand — You keep your distance and observe, and you won't move until you know enough.
• The grain that wants to feel safe — You prepare for the worst in advance and look for people you can trust.
• The grain that wants to be free and joyful — You light up at possibility and can't bear being trapped.
• The grain that wants to be strong and to protect yourself — You hate looking weak and try to protect your people.
• The grain that wants peace — You avoid conflict and wish for everyone to be at ease.

Usually one or two will catch you with an "okay, that's a bit like me." If something caught you, the free personality test will pin down exactly which one is your grain.

What changes when you know your desire

When you know your core desire, patterns that used to repeat start to make sense. Why you get so sensitive in that one situation, why those words hurt you so much. Instead of blaming yourself, you start to understand yourself.

When you know the desires of the people close to you, their behavior looks different too. What used to be "why would they go that far?" becomes "ah, that's their fear." And if you look at the two of you through a personality compatibility reading, that grain comes into even sharper focus.

The grain that moves you — meet it in about 12 minutes

Along with your outer self and inner self, the free personality test shows you the grain of the core desire that drives you. 83 questions, about 12 minutes. It's free.

Beyond the personality you show on the surface, come meet what really moves you.

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Good reads to go with this

• When MBTI doesn't quite land
• If your MBTI keeps changing and never seems to fit
• If you want to know yourself more deeply than a personality test can show