Can't Make Decisions — Am I Just Indecisive? Another Name for Carefulness
Do you agonize even over picking one dish off the menu? Indecisiveness might just be carefulness — the kind that sees more variables.
Five minutes in front of the menu, typing "anything's fine with me" into the group chat, and even after deciding, chewing on "would the other one have been better." Is being indecisive really a flaw?
Not being able to decide isn't weak willpower
People who can't decide easily are usually seeing one more thing — the outcome the choice will create, and the effect that outcome will have on someone.
- you check first, worried your choice might make the other person uncomfortable
- once you decide, you grow careful because it'll be hard to undo
- you weigh things to the last moment, sure there must be a better path
This isn't a lack of decisiveness — it means you're weighing more variables than others do.
Carefulness and indecisiveness are a hair apart
The same trait, used well, is carefulness; worn out, it becomes indecisiveness. When you lose track of what you actually want because you're busy accommodating everyone, deciding gets even harder. In those moments, the way out is to look first for "the answer that fits the me of right now" rather than "the answer that fits everyone."
Everyone has a different 'texture of deciding'
Some decide on intuition in three seconds; some gather information and narrow it down slowly. Some look at the relationship first, some at the principle. Neither is wrong — they just have a different texture of deciding.
What kind of decider am I?
When you know how the you who decides out in the world (your outer self) differs from the you who truly wants something when alone (your inner self), you wobble a little less in front of your next choice. A minute is all it takes to meet the texture of how you decide.
Good reads to go with this
Curious about your real personality?
Your outer & inner self — 1-minute test